Jim Breuer is a stand-up comic, actor, and host of the "Breuniverse" Podcast. Watch his comedy special, "Somebody Had to Say It," on YouTube. www.jimbreuer.com
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Chimpanzees eat human babies.
Baboons have stolen babies and eaten them.
A monkey can bite and take a giant chunk of skin off a person's head.
If a monkey had a gun, it would shoot people for fun.
You could be shocked at how fast and how strong a monkey is.
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And then you gotta figure out how to sneak up on animals and just launch these fuckin'
feather-covered darts of death
And it's one of the most, the greatest technological advantages of hunting that humans had ever created
They created the ability to kill something that's really far away
A good archer can shoot something with a traditional bow 40, 50, 60 yards away
And a chimp can never figure that out
But if they did we'd be fucked
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Dan Flores
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